Category Archives: Teenagers! Let’s Chat…

Starting a new year with Success on top of your list

So the year is already in full swing. Most of the schools and varsities have already started, businesses have re-opened and hopefully that means the mind is ready to soak up all the information and use that knowledge for a successful new year loaded with new potential and achievements to make the best year ahead for you.

Fortunately for us, our children couldn’t wait to get back to school. To be honest, I wasn’t ready and I could have quite easily enjoyed more holiday time – and I doubt I am the only one who secretly felt this way! I shed the quiet tears and did my best to encourage the kids for an exciting year ahead! However, we can not stop time, turn back time or delay time in any way, so reluctantly I waved my kids good bye on their first day of school, shed a few more tears as I got into the car and felt rather sorry for myself! I don’t know what saddened me more, the reality that they are growing up way too fast and were delighted to see their friends, or the thought of all that homework, routine and studying we have to do all over again!
But besides all that, the new year has started and each day is an achievement all on its own, and we are positive for an amazing year.

The other morning I saw a friend’s post on her Face Book wall. I loved reading it and found that her words echoed my own feelings.
I would like to share it with you and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.

“BREEDING SUCCESS”
(This logo is printed on the back on some of the school stationery)

…These words “Breeding success” gripped me. In other words the meaning of breeding success is ‘The intent to reproduce, duplicate and perpetuate a lineage’…
“Success – The achievement of something desired, planned or attempted”.

What I realised by this catchty phrase is that we can have this same motto for our lives and the lives of our children. We literally can “breed success” into them and in turn invest into our children’s children by our encouragement, attitude and outlook of life.
On the flip side, we can detrimentally do the complete opposite.
In a day of self-doubt, indecision, and brokenness – the perception we have of ourselves is paramount if we want to hand a worthy baton unto our children. This is where it starts – WITH US. This liberating concept does not necessarily have to rest on what we have achieved and accomplished for our self, but it can start today and change our children’s lives in so many ways for the future.
*Edited*

This post is not only for the school goers and parents, it is for everything we do in life, every hurdle we face, every trial we endure, every achievement we reach. A positive outlook is the answer to true success. We ourselves are the breeders for a good or bad attitude, a successful or failing lifestyle, a happy or saddened marriage, relationships, a thriving or dying career – we breed our own success, and in turn we are able to do the opposite and breed havoc upon ourselves.
May this year be a new challenge for you. Last year is over and 2016 is here in full bloom… So what are you waiting for? It is time to BREED SUCCESS for YOU, your family and YOUR CHILDREN, from today onwards.
And to all our children who are being educated, I wish you all the very best with your studies. Remember, it is not always about your teacher, the school, your friends or the area you live – it is about you wanting an education, do your best every day and the rewards will be great one day. Nothing will ever come easy, but with hard work and determination you will always be better today than you were yesterday! Enjoy your learning, it will never be wasted.

Love and God Bless,
Cindy.

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Teenagers!! Growing up is hard work!

This morning as the kids and I were walking out the house I noticed my daughter kept touching her forehead. She seemed distracted, but still managed to keep a smile on her beautiful little face. As I reversed I glanced quickly at her and noticed a few little pimples on her skin, and thought to myself, “oh here is starts … little girls with blemishes!” As we drove out I said to her, “Are you okay? You seem to be a little distracted this morning”. She replied, “Mom, I have a few pimples on my face and it doesn’t look so nice. They weren’t here yesterday. Aren’t I too young for this?”
In my mind I wanted to shout out, “YES! You are way too young! You should still be running around in diapers and playing with sand and making mud pies outside in the garden! You are growing up far too quickly for my liking and to be quite honest I am so not ready for all this!” But I refrained myself from saying such things and before I could respond my son had already taken the bite! “You have pimples, you have pimples on your face…”, as he teased her and pointed his little finger to her face!
Without another thought, I spoke harshly to him, and explained that would be the last time I ever hear either of them ever mock, tease or speak ugly toward each other. I am not a fan of bullying or teasing kids, and as a teenager I was ridiculed for my bad skin, so this morning I took full control and brought the teasing method to a stand-still.
As I heard my son apologize to his sister, my mind went back to my teenage years, and I remembered how difficult my years were as a teenager.
We drove on in silence, until my son asked, “Mommy, did you have pimples when you were small?”
I responded with a “yes” and explained to him that is the reason I will not tolerate them teasing one another about any little flaws they may have as they reach their teen years and their bodies start to change.
It is often said, “I wish I could turn back time, but only if I knew then what I know now, so much would be different!”
Does that sound familiar?

Reality is, no one can ever turn back time, but we as parents can teach our children as much as we can to assist them in their growing up years today.
I do understand our children will have to experience their own life lessons, make their own choices and learn from their mistakes as they grow up, but we as parents have first option to help where we can and educate our children as they grow up in this big ‘no rules in society’ world.
We finally arrived at school, and I got out to help them with their cases and said goodbye. I watched them walk off and thought, “They are still so young, their little bodies are still so perfect and pure and one day they will be big and leading their own lives”.
The thought crossed my mind a few times until I got back into my car and headed off for work, a little uneasy, enormously distracted and my heart strings feeling a little tense and fragile.

If you are a parent, who is currently a parent to teenagers, or you have raised teenagers you will understand the conflict I faced this morning. My children are not teenagers (yet) and this morning was probably just a little glimpse of what is to come, but this morning reminded me of my teenage years and all the upset and ridicule I faced because of my (flawed and blemished) skin. The tears I cried, the visits to the doctor with my mother – oh well, it was heartache, but today I am proud to say I am “blemish free!”
Let’s face it our teenage years are more than likely the hardest years of any child’s life. The hormones, the body changes, school pressure, societies idea of ‘the perfect person’, drugs, friends, teen relationships, sport, weight – you name it, the beginning of most uphill climbs will begin from the teenage years. It is a season each person will meet and it is a stage in a person’s life that has to be lived through. How you live it will undeniably determine which direction the rest of your future will take you.
The teenage years are critical years… so short live the negative thoughts and prolong the positive ones!

If you are a teenager and feeling the turbulence from those around you and your body is taking change in all forms of size, direction, blemishes and complications, take heart… it will not last forever! Do you remember the story of the ugly duckling? He was the ugliest duckling at birth – even his own family ridiculed him, ignored him, lost faith in him, unfriended him and made him feel as though he was useless – but he was still born a swan – what happened when he grew up? He became the most beautiful swan and lived his life in awe of all the others around him, if I remember correctly, he even forgave his family for their wrong doing!
Remember, you may feel like the ugly duckling now, but in time, your wings will grow, your body will be complete with all the changes – you will find your voice, you will spread your wings as you learn to fly – you WILL fly, and you will fly high.
But for today, don’t be discouraged if you are teased – as difficult as it is, ignore them. Bullies eventually do get tired! Turn the negative into the positive – for example, if your skin is playing up – get to the gym and start working on your physique – pimples do eventually disappear and muscles are sexy! If your weight is an issue, start educating yourself on health – being healthy means more than having a skinny or fat body – when your body is in balance, your weight will also balance itself out.
Nothing is permanent! Focus on something positive to defeat the negative! It is that simple! If your mathematics is taking the spiral plunge – ask for help but at the same time focus on your other strengths! Make valuable use of your time – don’t waste time harping on the negative! Nobody is perfect, but strive to be the perfect person you can be, for YOU! And one day when you are grown up (like me!), you will realize that the teenage years, even though they were difficult, were in fact, some of the best days of your life!

Don’t give up! Make your story well worth telling one day and be happy!

Love and God Bless,
Cindy.

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Email : lifetotell.com@gmail.com

Do what’s right, not what others think is right for you!

“INTEGRITY….
demands that I do what is right, even if it’s unpleasant and / or unpopular!”

How often do you find yourself in a situation where you feel in your heart the choice you are about to make is the wrong one, and you wonder if you should still ‘do it’ or not?
(When in doubt, leave it out!)
There is that silent little whisper telling your heart that what you are about to do is wrong. That is your conscience, and usually when we follow that quiet little voice and do the right thing, we in fact, break down the bondage of defeat that will linger in our lives for a long while after the deed has been done if you chose the wrong choice.

Let me re-phrase. If you find yourself in a situation where you want to do something and know it is wrong, but you go ahead and do it anyway, you will suffer the consequences for a long while after the deed has been fulfilled, and usually live in sadness, doubt and regret. Consequences are never easy and usually we hurt many others, including ourself, for a long time afterwards. A form of trust is broken and even though there may be forgiveness, that bridge of trust doesn’t always re-build itself quickly again, if ever.
Think of it like this, a piece of paper is smooth and perfect, once it is crumpled up, no matter how many times you iron out those creases the lines will always show. It is the same with trust, once it is crumpled, the differences may be ironed out over time, but the creases never go away.

However, if you chose to do the right thing, no matter what anyone says about you, you have broken that bondage that would hang over your life for a long time after. You have stood your ground, defeated the enemy to stand firm in your belief and faith. You have chosen happiness! That decision will open the doors for you to live in freedom and live your future with a clear conscience and enable you to live your life with respect.
Life is too short to live with regret, and to live a life owing something to someone is no fun either!

Each morning, before you head out, make a conscious decision to be true to yourself. No matter which friends you may lose along the way, because the truth is, if anyone wants to see you fall, you are better off without them.
If you are a teen and reading this, you may be thinking to yourself, “this sounds exactly what my Mother would tell me”! Well, let me enlighten you a little more, I am a Mother of two young children and Mothers are usually right! So bare with us, learn to listen to the whispers of your heart. You are worth more than a stupid decision that may dictate the rest of your life.

And above all, enjoy your life. With all the tempting offers you might think this world may have to offer you, most of them are temporary happiness. Choose a life filled with happiness, live out your dreams and complete your education.
The choices you make for your future start and end with you.
Make the right choices, live truthfully and guard your heart at all times. Never give up in doing what is right.

Love and God Bless,
Cindy.

Blog : lifetotell.com
Email : lifetotell.com@gmail.com

Strong enough not to be offended

Are you a person who gets offended easily?
Okay… I understand that question is surrounded by a large scope of questions or answers, but what I mean is, do little comments, looks or opinions from others offend you easily?
I used to be one of those people who got offended easily. Any look from the wrong direction by another person got me really stressed out. Personally I think I lived in my own cocoon, living my life to ensure everyone around me was doing okay, everyone was happy and the thought of making others happy made me content. So I thought. But in fact, I wasn’t happy. I found trying to make others happy 24/7 exhausted me, because the person I wasn’t looking out for first, and who is most important, was ME.

This past weekend my daughter was talking to me while we were getting ready to go out. She was brushing her hair and looked at me and said, “Mommy, I don’t think I am pretty. I have freckles, my hair is a different style and colour, I speak differently, I don’t always act the same as my friends and, well, is there something wrong with me?”
I felt like screaming “hallelujah!”
Not for any other reason, but to remind her how truly beautiful she really is! She realises she is different! She does not need to conform to the rest of the world, and she sure as nuts is a little looker! At her young age, with her attractive beauty, stunning character and quick approach to helping others, her love for people and animals, and her precious relationship with God – all I could say to her was, “Yes, you are something called UNIQUE! You have been created in His image and God couldn’t have created you more beautiful. Be happy that you aren’t like everyone else!”
You see, from a young age, social media equips the generation (usually) in the negative as to how a person should look, what different styles should be worn, the ‘perfect’ body size ‘should be’, what fashion is acceptable and what society believes is ‘acceptable or unacceptable’, and what career seems acceptable or not.
However, God has created us for all of the above, but has equipped us with a choice to live with wisdom, and He reminds His children that You are perfect in Him who has created you. When God creates a new being into this world, He does not make mistakes. Oh no! Let me tell you, YOU are a masterpiece, created by the most High. Walk steady in faith, hold your head high, speak volumes into the person you are, and believe that there is none other like you – and be happy about it!
The word ‘offend’ should not even be a word used in your vocabulary! Or accepted into your own mind!

Sadly as the years have gone by, I have only learnt to believe in my true worth in the last few years. If I had known, accepted and believed in my worth from a younger age, perhaps many things in my life would have turned out differently, or, nothing may have changed in my life, but the one thing would be for sure is, I would have spent more time loving who I am, and not wishing to be like someone else or hoping to be different, in order for others to ‘accept me’.
In simple terms, it does not matter what others think of you. If people share their comments with you – about you – and you do not wish to accept their opinion, DON’T! There is a quote that says, “it’s like water off a duck’s back!” In other words, if someone passes judgement upon you, allow it to be like ‘water off a duck’s back’. Let their words be removed quickly, smoothly and efficiently out of your life, your head and your heart. Learn to paddle in still water, swim with the current in flowing water and if necessary paddle hard in the upstream.

There is so much in this world that you could spend focused on. Being offended by another person’s opinion is not one of them. I really hope that if you are a person who is offended easily, work hard to change that in your own life. In time you will learn to shine with every inch of your beautiful being.
If you are a person of the opposite who finds it easy to offend others without thinking, well, all I can say is, “may you work on changing that negative habit you own, it is not attractive by any means”.

Give your life your best shot. Own your life and don’t give into others needs or wants if you are not at peace with your decision.
May God guide you every day of your life. May God bring special people in your path to love and nurture you, to encourage, comfort and love you, may your days be bright – even on the darker days, and above all, never forget your true worth. You have been created for a purpose and a reason, that reason doesn’t last for only season – it is meant to last your entire life through!
Enjoy your new week! Get motivated, and not offended!

Love and God Bless,
Cindy.

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Don’t concern yourself for every wish that does not come true for you

There is a simple saying that reads, “Be careful what you wish for!” The other day I was reflecting back on my life and was having a little giggle to myself about some of the things I used to “hope and pray for”. At the time I remember I was quite annoyed that so many of my wishes did not come true!
Matthew 7v7-8 speaks about,
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened”.…
It became clear to me that almost everything I was asking for was not being met according to my needs at the time of prayer.

As much as I continued to pray for certain situations, nothing was changing in my life. A kind of hopeless emotion sets in, and the feeling of, “what is my purpose?” was continuously on my mind. There are times in life when everything seems to go wrong. Have you ever experienced this negative cycle in your own life? Nothing changes. Nobody has good news to advertise. Day to day familiarities pile up until you living the ‘Ground hog’ day and it feels as though life is just passing you by, slower than a tortoise picking up speed for his next bite. The phrase, “it’s a doggy dog world” comes to mind as I think about the many years I prayed for certain circumstances to change in my life, and it never did. My life became etched around those very things until the reason for real life living screamed past me, and I look back now, more than 20 years later, and I have everything today, that I actually wanted all those years ago, but sadly I wasted so much time grieving for them to ‘just happen’ when I expected them to. In other words, while waiting for my dreams to come to pass, I missed out on much of my youth years.

Let me change my words in order for you to understand what I am trying to say! It is this simple, “If what you are praying for is IN God’s WILL for YOUR life plan YOU will receive it. Your prayer does not, and will not, go un-noticed, and you will not be forgotten. However, it may not always be in your time that your prayers are granted”. AND, if what you are praying for is not the plan for you and does not arrive at your door step, say, “Thank you” and move on! You may just be better off without it. If you are still not settled with the outcome of your circumstances, pray for wisdom and understanding. Time will reveal as to why certain events did not happen the way you had hoped, but don’t click the pause button and wait – you will only waste your own valuable time and good life.

For example, when I turned 18 years of age I was convinced I was ready to have my first child.
Number 1. I did not have a husband.
Number 2. I did not even have a boy that even liked me (other than friendship pals)!
Number 3. I had no tertiary education, no travel experience, no money in my account, and I was employed part time.
Number 4. I had no life experience.
Number 5. The list goes on…. in other words… I was by no means prepared to get married, or have a child but I was fixated on having a home and family ‘with immediate effect after saying Amen’!
I lived the next couple of years of my life feeling ‘sorry for myself’ because I didn’t have a boyfriend. I started to believe that no man would ‘love me’ or would ever like me, the world is unfair, life was passing me by, and in my most vital years of living, even though I had a good life, I found myself on many occasions in a dark slump feeling insecure and wishing I had met ‘my other half’ in order to start ‘playing house’ and have babies because that was the only thing that would make me happy! (So I thought)
How wrong I was! In fact, during those years of waiting were some of the best years of my life, and that time will never be returned to me for a “replay”!
As I sit here now I wonder why I spent so much time wishing for my ‘once so perfect’ life to change!
I am so grateful to God that He never brought my prayers to pass when I was 18 years old! Because for 10 years after that is when I learned about life – I learned about Me. You see, the desire was placed in me to have a family – I should have been at peace that one day in my life it would happen, but I wanted it all to happen ‘NOW’ in MY time!
God’s timing is always perfect! He is never too late and never too early.
Today, I have everything I ever prayed for, and I have lived enough to be able to enjoy my family as we are today.

If you are in a place where the land is dry, as if you have walked in the desert for a long time and there is no change, don’t despair. If you have prayed for what you desire most, believe you will receive it, expect it to happen at the perfect time, then during your wait – Live your life! By all means get out of the desert. Live your days in preparation of your prayer and hopes, but don’t stop living while you are waiting. If God has placed a desire in your heart, believe that He will bring it to pass in your life, perhaps even better than you actually imagined it to be! He knows what is best for you and your life, so don’t wish your life away during the process. Leave the timing up to Him, don’t lose hope, become restless or doubtful. A beautiful garden takes many hours of ground work and once the root is anchored in good soil, the seed is able to grow strong and be beautiful for all to view.
But, if your prayers do not happen the way in which you would like, I encourage you to continue living the life you so deserve. Be happy. There is a reason for everything that happens in our lives, in perfect time, and be reminded that “The Best is yet to come”.

“When you are down to nothing, God is up to something”!
Be at Peace. The plan which has been started within you, will be finished with you.

Love and God Bless,
Cindy.

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Obey your Mother and Father

The Bible is full of scripture when it comes to children obeying their Mother and Father. Usually when children become teens they reach a stage where they feel they know everything and would like to teach their parents a thing, or two! Perhaps when it comes to modern day technology, the youngsters of today (I would say from age 2 years and up!!) are teaching their parents more on a daily basis about modern day science than what we knew when we were growing up… Okay, I will give the teens this! We usually do need our teens help (and patience) when it comes to technology!

On a more serious note, the truth be told is, no matter what your age, where you live, what your belief or culture is, fact, “Your parents are the only parents you will ever have. Obey them!”
When it comes to life lessons your parents do know more about certain subjects than you teens would like to think! Trust me, I was a teen too, and now that I am a parent, the lessons I learnt when I was young and naive, I only hope to pass on to my own children so they will hopefully not make the same mistakes I did.
Here are some verses from the Bible where God talks about obeying and respecting your God-given parents.

My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching”. (Proverbs 6v20)

“Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old”.
(Proverbs 23v22)

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord”. (Colossians 3v20)

parents love

I understand it is not easy to always behave and not be rebellious, keep to a curfew (if you have one), or always listen to your parents, but as difficult as all this is to remain ‘good’ it is just as difficult being a parent. A parents love can and will never die. In fact, a parent’s love for their child increases more and more over the years. The worst words I ever said to my parents were, “don’t worry about me. I am old enough. You don’t have to always wait up for me to get home, just go to sleep!” As I am a parent now, I think if my kids ever said those same words to me I would more than likely put a sock in their mouth to gag their words! It is not easy to ‘just go to sleep’ knowing your child is out late at night, if he/she is safe, who they are with, if they have been drinking, or getting a lift home with a reliable person. If you are at a stage in your life where you are giving your parents more grief than they deserve, I understand you are at a crucial time in your life where you want to fit in, ‘live it up’ and experience the parties and new entertainment, but as much as you are exploring new adventures, before hastily giving your parents back-chat and a ‘no care’ attitude – remember, they were there for you from the beginning, and if anything they will be with you until the end. It may sound trivial in your life right now, and if you are a teen reading this, (don’t roll your eyes!!!), give your parents the time they need. If they are asking a lot of questions about where you are going, who you going with, what time you will be home – be encouraged, you are blessed to have a home and parents who love you enough to ask these questions. Spend time talking to them, explain what you have been up to, more than likely those few extra minutes spent talking to them and giving them peace of mind will save hours (if not days) arguing and being in an unhappy home and frustrated environment – not just for you, but also for your parents.

I love the fact that when my children talk to me they will hug me, or my son will kiss my cheeks or give me a hug – remember, you were ‘small once too’! You loved and needed your parents more than life itself, and they loved you right back. Your parents may not be perfect, they may have made a multitude of mistakes (and many more in the future!), but don’t stop loving or respecting them or being ‘their little person’. No matter how old you are, you will always be ‘their baby’. Love them, cherish your parents, hug them from time to time, phone them when you arrive at your destination, if you can not phone, send a message – give them the respect they deserve, and in doing these ‘little changes’ which mean so much, it will give them time to understand and respect your age that you are growing up, you need your freedom, but above all, you can be trusted – that is the most important issue of all – Trust. Build up your trust with them, trust doesn’t develop over night. It takes time. However, trust can be broken in a second.

So, if you are being a teen that is selfish, focused on only you, not worried about anything else except where you are going tonight or over the weekend – that is all okay, after all you are a teenager right now, but perhaps it is time to shake things up a bit and go give your parents a much deserved hug. Maybe before you go out, spend some time chatting with them, eat dinner together, tell them that you love them and you are grateful they are YOUR parents and belong to no one else. Everyone of us need reassurance, no matter how old a person gets!
Enjoy them, for one day they will no longer be around – so don’t waste time being a ‘teen brat’! Be a teenager who loves, adores, respects and obeys your parents! It isn’t that difficult … I promise! And I guarantee you something else, the happier you are at home with your parents and knowing in your heart they are settled, there is respect and understanding and you are in a good place with them – your life, the parties, your friends … everything … just seems better!
#Happy parents = happy child!

Love and God Bless,
Cindy.

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Think well of yourself – people’s thoughts about you shouldn’t matter

It is a very sad reality in life (in general) that people are so fixated on how others see them, think of them, or hope for them to be. I have never been a ‘follower’. If there is something I do not agree with, I walk away from it. If someone ‘edges’ me to do something I am not at peace with, I stand my ground and move away from the negativity and the negative influence.
Have I lost ‘friends’ by having a strong personality and living my life the way I feel is right? Yes! I may have lost acquaintances that were or never would be close to me, but in saying this, do I have wonderful and amazing people in my life who love and respect me? Absolutely – and a whole bunch of them! They are the ones who truly matter to me and I keep them close!

It just seems that in this day people in general want to be like someone else, act like someone else, speak like someone else, live as though they have equal value in bank accounts, share other people’s dreams, walk in their footsteps – you name it, people invest their lives in hope to be like someone else, no matter what the cost or consequence it holds to them and the special people in their life.
My daughter is at the age where she loves fashion! She loves watching celebrities sing, dance and move their butts, she is amazed at their dress sense, their personality and catchy life drama. The other day she was watching a music video on You-Tube and I heard her say to herself, “aaah I wish I could look like her one day!” This would sound ‘normal’ to any mother watching her daughter grow up and learning to ‘find herself’ in this world, but I could not resist it – I quickly intervened and went into her room.
I asked her to show me this music video and could not believe my eyes! For sure the ladies on the screen looked sexy, seductive, provocative and had the most amazing bodies and outfits, but I could not watch anymore! There was no way on God’s green earth I would ever want to see my daughter live in the same category as the celebrity she is currently so engrossed with! We started chatting and I was very interested as to why she felt compelled to be like these woman one day. My curiosity had definitely ‘killed the cat’…
She smiled and answered so innocently, “because she is so beautiful Mommy!”

This was my chance! I had to gap it while she is still living under our roof and at such a tender age, I started talking to her about her beauty – a woman’s true beauty, and that the thoughts of how another person perceives her to be should never matter – it is how she sees herself, that she respects every mankind and animal, and who GOD has created her to be – this is all that counts. Perhaps I might have come down on her a little strong, but my heart was melting at the same time to think that this beautiful sight sitting in front of me, had her entire life ahead of her, was thinking about living someone else’s life or dreams.
In reality, I think many of us are like this, even if we can’t admit it out loud. We want to improve in our jobs so we hang out with the big boys at the pub after work until late, instead of going home to their family; or the lady at work who doesn’t have the finances and battles to keep up to dress like all the other ladies in the office do; the guy who is slightly over weight and doesn’t feel as though he can ‘fit in’ with the other boys on the field; the youngster at school who is blamed for being naughty and unsettled more than the other kids in the class will more than likely continue to be naughty and unsettled because this is how he has been ‘labelled’ by the people who spend the most time with him and will soon believe that every person sees him in the same way – so he continues to live with the same negative manner. There are millions of examples as to why a person wants and hopes to be like someone else they see in a magazine, on TV, or in their daily group.
If you feel you don’t ‘fit in’ so what? Why should you care what others expect from you or think abut you? But by all means, be respectful to others, appreciate others victories, success and wealth – they have earned it and they are entitled to enjoy it. But don’t try be like them or hope they will accept you by influencing you to be someone you are not – and never will be.
My lesson learnt in life, If someone does not accept you for who you are, that is fine. It does not make them ‘a bad person’ it just means they are not enough for you. Hang out, surround yourself, live life being worthy to yourself! We all have the same air to breathe, we all have a reason to live on this earth, we are all entitled to live a fair life – so do it! Nobody should have the power over you to control your dreams or your behaviour.

The truth is, YOU are YOU. There is no one else quite like YOU. Trying to be like someone else will never make you happy. You will never reach your own goals if you continue and choose to live in someone else’s shadow. I do understand many of us have icons in our life, sure! There are many people who we respect and agree with their life styles and what they have done to better their own life and many others around them, but instead of trying to be just like them, be yourself and incorporate some of their wonderful teachings in your own life, learn from them – live your own life, don’t spend your life trying to fill the gaps in your shoes to walk someone else’s destiny. I will tell you now, you will never make it. You will never be fulfilled in your own life, and personally, all I can say is, “What a waste! What a waste to give anymore of your precious time for someone else’s success and failures”. Create your own success and failure. If you fail, pick yourself up again, you may fail again, pick yourself up again and again. Life will take you through different avenues, so take the good people along with you that will walk the journey with you and encourage you. Let go of the people who try and convince you to walk in their direction – trust me, that choice will be lonely and there is no time in life to waste energy going in the wrong direction, just because you are expected to. Get into your lane, take the wheel and drive! You will be amazed at how much life will mean to you, and what it feels like to live in freedom for YOU!

Remember, other people’s thoughts about you, or living someone else’s dreams don’t matter! Enjoy being YOU – make your own dreams come true, and be a leader in your own life! Be true to YOU!
May this week be a dream filled, YOU week! Enjoy YOU forever after!

Love and God Bless,
Cindy.

Blog : lifetotell.com
Email : lifetotell.com@gmail.com

In Life we won’t always “Love” Everybody!

The Bible talks directly about “Loving your neighbour”. This does not mean every person that moves in to the house next door to you is needy for your love! The term “neighbour” means friends, acquaintances, each person we meet in our life, people we work with, family – God’s word tells us to ‘love thy neighbour, as you love yourself’.
There are plenty people who don’t like their own self, but are accepting of others, and there are many people who refuse to like anybody, not to mention love someone!
There are many people who we choose to ‘hate’ – depends if they are criminals, bullies at school, selfish human beings, liars, thieves, the world is full of different souls who live on the same planet – there are many people in this world who we think are ‘worthy’ of being disliked or deserve to be treated in an ill manner, and there are others who are treated like royalty.
Who are we to judge?
This is a subject which is very debatable. Each person is entitled to their own opinion, this is true, however, the Bible speaks very differently on this matter. It says that we are not to judge ANYONE and we are to love our neighbours.

So let’s change the subject a little, we are not talking about thieves and murderers, for one day they will meet their judgement day – as will each of us, but let’s talk about the ‘common day to day dislikes’, for example, the person at work you just love to hate; or the brilliant sportsman who catches everyone’s attention without even trying hard and you find yourself sweating it out 24/7 and get no recognition; a friend who is popular and each weekend he/she seems more demanding in his/her favour than the last; the ‘ex’ who you can not cope with because it seems if he/she dropped off the face of the earth today nobody (I mean ‘you’) won’t miss them!; or a particular person in your group who tries so hard to fit in but to you is annoying; the bully at school who everyone wishes he/she would just vanish and disappear, or attend another school!
Yes… all of these thoughts may sound funny to some, but they are real life problems to others, and I am sure each of us have some time in our life experienced a “dislike/hate scenario” towards another human being.
In saying this, why do we spend so much negative energy speaking about them to fellow peers, or thinking about them and wondering how great life would be if they didn’t exist?
If any of this seems familiar to you and you are currently having a difficult time with another person you know, perhaps it is time to reflect on who you are as a person. There comes a time in life when none of this really matters. There comes a time in your life when you realise the importance of true love, good and healthy friendships and what matters most. If there is a person who occupies your mind in the negative and forces you to have negative thoughts against them, it is time you realise your worth and start believing in who YOU are – and in saying this, focus on something better or someone else who has a good effect on you! Trust me, it is very seldom that a person you dislike moves to another city “just because”…. in other words, the change of heart has to begin with you!
There will always be someone better, fitter, more attractive, thinner, muscular, more popular or use more wisdom in their daily choices than the next person – it is life, but through all this and their talents, they should not ‘own your time’ or occupy rent with negative thoughts in your head.

I am not telling you to start making dramatic changes in your life and “fall in love” with them, because anyone who knows you well enough will smell a rat and if you really don’t like someone (and the person is aware of your feelings towards him/her), it will be highly impossible to be in love with that person tomorrow and try mean it!
Think about the reasons why you dislike this person. If you need to jot some thoughts down, do so. Once this is done, think of reasons why other people you know see them as being a great person, harmless and full of fun. If this little exercise still does not conquer favour in your life then my advice to you is, stop trying and learn to let it go completely. Stop spending so much time and effort on another person who does not concern him/her self with you. Your life is worth living, you are worthy to live it up and experience all the joys and frills this life has to offer you. When you find yourself thinking angrily about the person you dislike, change your thoughts to the positive and learn to move forward – leave the baggage weighing you down behind.
A little motto I live with is this, “I may not have to like everyone, and not everyone in this world will like me, but God does tell me to LOVE them!”
So! The person you dislike and who gets you all tense just thinking about them also has a purpose on this earth. Whether you like to think so or not, and perhaps it is time to be free of whatever it is keeping you from moving forward with this hill climb in your life.

Life is precious. There are so many wonderful people who are available to value your friendship and enjoy your time with you. By changing your thoughts about specific people in your life, you may begin to realise how amazing you truly are as an individual and once you see yourself in a different light you will realise that there is no spare time to waste on other people’s concerns in your life. In fact, there may come a time where you could enjoy their company, if it ever came to that.
YOU are who matters most. Start working on yourself, start believing more in yourself and start imagining a better YOU and as your thought patterns change to the positive, you will eventually come to realise that you may not have to like everyone, but you do need to love them for who they were created to be! It is difficult, we can not change the world, but we can change the person who lives within us!

Love and God Bless,
Cindy.

Blog : lifetotell.com
Email : lifetotell.com@gmail.com

After the year end exams… The Party Starts!

I would like to take this opportunity to Congratulate each and every student who wrote year end exams for this year. Moving into the next grade, furthering your degree or receiving a final degree is a huge achievement – Well done! If, by some unfortunate reason you did not pass the grade let me say, “Don’t give up! Try harder next year. No matter what happens (or how angry your parents may be with you!), keep your eye fixed on the goal and you WILL succeed. Education is your tool – it is up to you to create an exciting and fulfilling future”. Remember, parents will shout and be angry for a short while, after all, education is expensive – they have a right to be disappointed, but their anger and disappointment only lasts a short while – don’t do anything silly! Trust me, it is not worth it. I am a parent, if my children don’t get full marks for their Friday Spell test I get annoyed! But after I have vented my little speech for them to do better next time the marks are forgotten and Friday comes around all over again! My children are still small, I don’t know how I will react if they don’t get good marks when they are older, but for what it is worth, a parent’s love out weigh’s any exam result – pass or failure. There is always a chance to improve grades – get focused, next year is just around the corner. Plan your goals, aim high and do it for YOU!

But today’s Post is not only about passing or failing the year. It is about the social events that happen after! The parties, the alcohol, the ‘get away’ vacations with friends to celebrate ‘School is out!” or perhaps, “School is finished forever – your school life has come to an end” and your hope is to travel and work abroad next year, or you have submitted applications to college, or perhaps you have a job opportunity and will be earning your own income. Whatever your choice is, remember, this is only the beginning! The beginning of the rest of your life! I understand these are exciting times for you – you have worked hard, you have earned the right to party like mad and this may be the year you passed your driver’s licence and you are ready to hit the road in style.
Well my advice to you is, do it IN style! Don’t exceed the alcohol levels, do not drink and drive – even if you think you are ‘okay to drive’, respect the speed limit on the road. Stupid mistakes are NOT worth it. Not only for you, but for every other person who is also entitled to be travelling on the road.

I remember the day I finished my final exam. My school career was over and as I walked out the hall and all I could see was the exit of the school’s double doors and they were wide open, and after that was my freedom! When I think about it now I don’t think I even looked at any of the teachers saying goodbye to us as we charged out the hall! All I could think about was, “school is out, I knew I had passed and it was time to get my groove on – the world was my open oyster!” The parties and fun activities were all I could think about! The parties that were planned, the places I was going to, the plans in my mind didn’t stop. I had RSVP’d to all of them! My excitement was all too much to deal with.
Until I got home.
My parents chatted with me and asked all the questions ‘under the sun’ about what I was planning to do for the holidays – where I was going, who I was going with, where was I staying? And all the other questions parents are supposed to worry about (which they have every right to!). They advised me about what their thoughts were about the year end silly season, drunk drivers on the road and I will never forget my Mother’s words to me, “We know you are excited school is finished. We are very proud of you. But there are thousands of children who will also be celebrating work Christmas functions and drunk drivers on the roads. Please stay close by, you have the rest of your life to enjoy!”
I will admit, their advice killed my spirits – I think within 3 seconds I hit a flat. It seemed as though I was going no where, but to my room to unpack my school bag for the last time and burn my uniform which never suited my body shape anyway!
After my ranting had calmed down and I picked up my lip from dragging along the floor I thought about their words. In all honesty, they were right. Parents usually have valid reasons for their concerns. They did not say I “could not go out and enjoy myself”, instead they advised me to go out with caution and think about where I was going and if I was travelling far I should rather think twice about it. After all the places we were going to were not closing down any time soon! There would be many other times I could go to the same places – with my friends! The final verdict was my parents advice to me was to use wisdom. My future was just beginning.

Today, in this time in your life, as you are ending the final lap of your education year or school / college career, my advice to you would be this, “You have a reason to celebrate! Absolutely! But use wisdom. If you are getting lifts to a party and you are not sure who the driver is, or if he/she will abstain from alcohol throughout the evening (zero tolerance – do not drink and drive!), then either get a contact number for a taxi before you leave home. There are so many ways you can have good times, and be sensible while making plans to get home safely – where you belong! Do NOT accept any substance or drink from anybody – even if the person is good looking! Trust me, be in control of yourself at all times! You do not want to be another statistic over the festive season. I say this with all the respect in my being, but with that, it is the plain truth – live wisely, enjoy your life, dance with caution and know who your REAL friends are. If you do not agree with anything your mates are willing to do, 12/10 times you are CORRECT! Walk away! If you are not ready, then that is okay. Your life is beginning, this is the time you will be able to make new friends. Life can be enjoyed, even if you don’t follow the group – be your own leader! Trust your instincts.

congrats

In ending off, be proud of yourself. You have come a long way. If you are still in school and heading to the next grade next year, keep striving to do better. You do have what it takes to create the best opportunities for your future!
Take care and party on – life is a journey, so enjoy the ride while viewing the scenery!

Love and God Bless,
Cindy.

Blog : lifetotell.com
Email : lifetotell.com@gmail.com

A foul mouth is so unattractive!

One of the greatest concerns for me is how ‘filthy’ words are spoken so freely out of a person’s mouth without even a thought! Vile language, and I say this modestly, “swear words” seem to be the every day ‘normal and accepted language’ in today’s society. A couple of years ago if a person was heard verbalizing the “F-word” people would literally gasp, cover their mouth with their hand, apologize several times and there would be a rather awkward balance in the room. How times have changed! The “F-word” is used commonly with adults, teenagers, in the work place, at home, schools, even toddlers use it and it seems to be “okay” or funny to some parents. How can bad language be ‘okay’, especially from such a young age? At any age?

A while back my kids and I were waiting to be served at a take away. It was busy, but the food was so delicious it was worth the wait! As we stood in the queue, people were chatting, and it was quite a festive vibe. I noticed some teenagers sitting at one of the tables and they were chatting and having a good time. I noticed one of the young girls in particular, she was beautiful. In my mind I thought, “my goodness, you are going to break some hearts when you are older!” Everything about this young lady was perfect.
Until she opened her mouth! Wow! As she spoke out loud the foul language dribbled out of her mouth as though nothing was stopping her in the conversation she was so audibly verbalizing! My thoughts were immediately swayed from my first impression of her. Not only did she have the face that Vogue Magazine would more than likely sign her up for a Modelling contract, the picture I concluded in my mind afterwards was hazy. I felt sorry for her. As I looked down at my young children, trying to divert their attention elsewhere I thought to myself, “I hope while I am alive on this earth I will never have to hear my kids speak in conversation using such foul language”.

As I am a parent who loves communicating with my kids and chatting to them about their every day life and want to hear EVERYTHING that happens in school (staying alert is also a prevention for kids getting into some serious trouble later on in life – I believe!), we got chatting about what happened at the take out store earlier that day. The kids didn’t seem too phased by it, but the comment my son made will ring in my ears for the rest of my life. After we had discussed ‘decent language’ and what is and isn’t acceptable, my daughter said, “but Mommy that girl was so pretty!”, my son looked at her and responded, “it doesn’t matter how pretty you are, even the devil was the prettiest angel!”
I was shocked to say the least! How many 5 year old’s have a come-back such as that?
As much as I was amazed at his answer, and his wisdom at such a young and tender age, he taught me a valuable lesson that evening. It does not matter how beautiful, or ugly you may think you are – it doesn’t even matter what others think of you, but the truth is, people do create an impression of another person within the first few minutes of interaction and it is very hard (if even possible) to change a person’s opinion after that. Life can be hard at the best of times, and having a bad or disrespectful reputation is just a bad recipe for heartache, loneliness and sadness for your own future.

Here are just 2 of the many verses in the Bible where God speaks about vile language :

“Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving”. (Ephesians 5:4)
and;
“From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so”.
(James 3:10)

The dictionary is full of useful words! Start improving your vocabulary!!! In saying that I was not born in the stone age, I understand completely that sometimes the “F-word” can make a person feel a whole lot better within a few seconds of upset, anger or in an awkward moment! but if you are a person who uses foul language as your ‘1st home language’ I encourage you to think about your words before saying them. If you are at school and the kids use it in their daily sentences as one of their ‘life skills’ it does not mean you have to either! It is not cool to swear, in fact, there is nothing gorgeous, pretty of sexy hearing a person swear! I am not sure if you have been told differently, but my advice to you is, living a clean, manageable, tasteful life is beautiful. Living with respect towards YOURSELF is providing attention to gorgeous detail! Being bold, courageous adventurous, full of laughter and life is sexy – to just about anybody in this world! Swearing, using vile language, filthy jokes and being loud and foolish may seem interesting or funny to others for a short while, but soon it becomes ‘boring, dull and monotonous conversation’ and there is nothing ‘clever or attractive’ about swearing!

So today, if this discussion has alarmed some bells ringing in your head, I encourage you to go buy a dictionary (or Google!) some new and exciting (clean) words! Try it out, you may just impress yourself (and your mates), and who knows? your Language grade may improve at the same time!

Have a brilliant day further!

Love and God Bless,
Cindy.

Blog : lifetotell.com
Email : lifetotell.com@gmail.com